the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
