i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
