I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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