Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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