Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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