i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
