You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Randomize
