Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
