And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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