Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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