Pants 0. Shit 1.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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