I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
