There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Holy sore nipples Batman
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
