i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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