me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
