No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
