Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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