normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
