Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
