how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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