So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
