im gay
i know
yea but for you.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
