I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
