They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize