When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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