Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
