so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
