It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize