i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
