I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
third nipple confirmed
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
