I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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