physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
