Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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