omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
