I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Life is so much better after having sex.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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