he puts the penis in happiness.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Randomize
