I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
