I need help removing her.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
