I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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