You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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