Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
