McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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