STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
