make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
whose parrot is this?
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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