but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
thus making me awesome and them whores
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
