Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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