I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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