His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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