I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
