maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize