I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize