who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Randomize
