thus making me awesome and them whores
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
