Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
