Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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