i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
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