Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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