How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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