There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
