i permit you to call me
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
