I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize